Friday, July 26, 2013

Why Getting Married at 20 Was My Best Decision Ever/Haters Gon' Hate

I spent a decent amount of time between the ages of 17 and 21 searching out and drinking booze. In fact, I spent an entire year of that living in my own apartment after graduating high school, not going to college, and doing shots in my kitchen when I wasn't working or blowing my money. Friends and I roamed the streets of Deep Ellum, and other various locations in downtown Dallas, going to shows, getting tattooed and pierced, and drinking vats of coffee until the wee hours of the morning. 

Eventually I made my way back into education. The weekend before moving into my first semester at school, I was involved in an accident that totaled my car. I had bruises that left me unable to wear a bra, let alone sleep comfortably. I had been dropped off in a new, different city, with no car. On top of that, I had the world's cattiest, loudest, worst roommate possible. I mean, what kind of 18-year-olds leave Dora the Explorer on all night long? I had 8:00AM classes, and I was over it.

I met all sorts of people, most of which I gave the benefit of the doubt, but walked away from thinking they were morons. By this point, I'd had my fair share of potential flings, and one hardly serious boyfriend. None of which hung around for much longer than a few months. Sitting in front of my dorm, cynically smoking tons of cigarettes at 19, I met a younger version of my Mountain Man. He thought everyone was stupid, too. Needless to say, we hit it off from the get go.

I had no intentions of getting married ever, let alone to my first serious relationship since high school. I've never believed in love at first sight (cynic, remember?), but somehow, I knew he was the proverbial one. I could feel it. I'd heard people say, "sometimes, you just know." And as simple as that, I just knew. So did he. Long story short, we moved in together, got engaged the following Christmas, got married in the courthouse with only our parents in attendance in January, and bought a house that we made our first home in June. 

We quit smoking together. We have taken tons of road trips and tons of pictures. We have gone on, and still go on, all sorts of dates. We, for all intents and purposes, grew up together. Then, of course, we survived a pregnancy together, and had our sweet little guy, Frank. On purpose, I might add. Neither of us were finished with our degrees, nor are we now (though he graduates in December. Go, Mountain Man, go!). I may even have more kids before I'm done with mine! I have all kinds of time to finish that degree that isn't entirely necessary to have a photography business. But, I won't be young forever. My family is my top priority (though I really, REALLY, REALLY want my degree. Don't get me wrong).

So who cares that we took the unconventional road? Who cares that we married quickly, and at 20 and 21? Apparently, a lot of people do. I even had it put, that at 30 when those who married too young get divorced, they spend a lot of depressing time trying to reclaim their wasted youths. Usually, I keep my opinions to myself as far as the internet is concerned, but sometimes I just can't control myself. Instead of swiftly typing, "BITCH, YOU DON'T KNOW MY LIFE!" in response (which is always my very strong first instinct), I take my time to calmly and carefully formulate my responses. But still, they are met with bastardized science, and more ignorance (and you know I can't just go around biting my tongue when people just drag science through mud like that, I've beat too many textbooks into my skull to let that shit go- plz excuse my language in this post). I am constantly questioning the Fs, palming my face, and s-ing my head when it comes to social networking. And, I mean, I'm pretty good at spotting trolls. 

Mountain Man shares the same, if not a deeper, level of understanding of the world (we've beat our heads against the same textbooks), and we can have intelligent conversations together. I constantly thank God that I am not married to an idiot. He is, at the most basic level, my beacon of hope in a world full of stupid. I no longer have to wade through other peoples' bullshit. We can retreat into our home together after a long day of more WTFs, SMHs, and facepalms. 

I don't think I wasted a single ounce of my youth. I lived it up, I participated in my fair share of partying. So did Mountain Man. We even partied together. Frankly, I grew tired of that crap pretty darn quick. I wouldn't have accepted his proposal if I didn't understand the ramifications of my decision. Forever is forever. We just got started on our forever a little sooner. But what can I say? Haters gon' hate.

4 comments:

  1. you're the best writer ever. EVER. especially on topics like STUPID PEOPLE.
    Love you, so proud of you and your cute little life.

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  2. Great post, and you're right, sometimes you just know it's meant to be and no matter the age, it's just right. There is love at first sight, and there are people who marry young and last a lifetime together. You have my vote.

    -Pappy

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    Replies
    1. hey! thanks for taking the time to read my rants :) and sorry to have been so estranged lately.
      Things have been cray, as you've read. But in all seriousness, I can always count on you. Thanks for being a second dad to me :)

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