I have commitment issues.
Occasionally, I try to make commitments to this blog. For example, I'm going to take, and post, a new photo with a predetermined theme each day this month. I'm going to update with my weekly/monthly weight loss progress regularly. I'm going to graduate with my shiny science degree, and then have a baby.
Welp. That didn't quite pan out as I'd planned. Life happens, and this month has been full of it (life happenings, and well, poop).
I have, however, managed to keep some very important commitments. I am very committed, and happily married, to my Mountain Man. I've also kept my commitments as Frank's mommy, and to the rest of the critters who share our living space. I've kept my commitment to feeling better about myself, and have completed my running plan! WOOHOO! Who has two thumbs and can complete a solid 20-minute run, sans puking? This girl. Now it's time to work that up to a solid 30, then see about fitting three miles into that half hour (color run, here I come!).
My weight has been steady, sitting around at 267. No major gains, and no losses. But hey, that's alright. I'm making progress in other ways that some number cannot measure. Frankly, the scale can go screw itself. Speaking of weight loss, and my body (and my body image issues that I've carried around with me my entire life), I have been looking at myself in all wrong ways. (WOAH. I know what you're all thinking, who would do such a thing?) I have approached this weight loss with the wrong attitude. I even said that I would not, under any circumstances, purchase a bigger pair of jeans. Why would I put that ridiculous restraint on myself? My body has changed. I had a baby for crying out loud. It's time I backed into this from another angle. It's time to start dressing my body for how it is right now, this very second, and loving my body for how it is right now. I've always had this mentality of, "I will love myself more if I could just lose [insert number] more pounds. Then I will really be beautiful."
If I heard any of this bull come out of my friends' collective mouths, I'd slap 'em. Not really, guys. But, isn't it time that I start holding myself to these standards, instead of the ones set by society?
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